UNCOMFORTABLE COMFORT
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My grandmother taught me to crochet when I was 8 years old, and my mother taught me to knit when I was 14. I have turned to knitting and crochet for comfort since learning then, as they are very rhythmic and thought intensive activities. For this piece, I knit a sweater with a quote from a recent diary entry: “LIKE, FUCK! I KNOW I LOOK LIKE A BLOATED, OVER-MATURED BABY… I’M SICK OF IT.” While I have struggled with issues of body image and disordered eating since childhood, it has been a pressing subject in my mind recently and I have been unsuccessful in tackling it head on in the last few months. The discomfort of the thoughts knit into the very fabric of the piece in a sense negates the comfort of the activity and the sweater itself. The negative feelings I have toward my body are also captured in a piece meant to be worn on the body, creating a tension between the intended use and the object alone.
The sweater, being hand knit, took approximately 15 hours over several days. During my time working with the project, I had to really come to terms with the words I was creating with each stitch. All of the yarns used in the piece have a personal connection, as I received each of the colors from different people that have played large roles in the development of my body image, including my mother, my grandmother, an ex-lover that was mentioned in the original diary entry, and various friends. This piece, while personally and physically challenging, was very interesting to work on. |